Celebration of Life for Margie McArthur

Margie’s memorial service and celebration of life were held on December 10, 2022, at Lafayette-Orinda Presbyterian Church in Lafayette, California, and Locanda Ravello restaurant in Danville, California.

Margie and Pete enjoyed reading Shakespeare plays with their brother-in-law, Zack Kincheloe, who is a retired English teacher. Zack Kincheloe did a reading from Shakespeare’s play, Cymbeline, in honor of Margie at her service. The transcript is below.

Cymbeline

Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages;
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.
Fear no more the frown o’ the great;
Thou art past the tyrant’s stroke:
Care no more to clothe and eat;
To thee the reed is as the oak:
The sceptre, learning, physic, must
All follow this, and come to dust.
Fear no more the lightning-flash,
Nor the all-dreaded thunder-stone;
Fear not slander, censure rash;
Thou hast finished joy and moan;
All lovers young, all lovers must
Consign to thee, and come to dust.
No exorciser harm thee!
Nor no witchcraft charm thee!
Ghost unlaid forbear thee!
Nothing ill come near thee!
Quiet consummation have;
And renownéd be thy grave!

Eulogy for Margie McArthur

Margie’s daughter, Nicole Vasilevsky, gave her eulogy at her service. A recording of the eulogy is available here or by clicking the image below.

The transcript from the eulogy is below:

Thank you all for being here and for your friendship and support.

Mom passed away November 04, 2022 after prolonged illness and declining health for many years.

She was one of the strongest people I knew and overcame more medical ailments than any one person should have had to go through. As I reflect on her life, I am reminded of her strength, her generosity, and her perseverance.

She described her family as a strange mix of Yankees, Southerners, and Westerners with family members ranging from her home state of TN to the wilds of the great north.

and noted that our diversity has led to many accomplishments amongst us (such as music, dance, chemistry, biology, sports, finance, aviation, cooking, information management, law, physics, medical and dental technology, writing, engineering and trades, literature, theology, philosophy….and loving life)

She was super proud of her family and recently published a memoir about her life.

Mom’s childhood was full of love and inquisition. She was born and raised in Kingsport, TN, where her father worked for Eastman Kodak, and her mother raised the children and baked the best white cupcakes with caramel frosting.

She had two older brothers who continuously wowed her and kept her entertained. As kids, her brother Jimmy mapped out all of the creaks in their hallway floor so they could quietly navigate their way to the living room on Christmas morning and see their presents before their parents woke up. Her dad had a motor boat and they frequently water skied on lakes near Kingsport. Mom enjoyed dance and gymnastics and performed in many recitals.

Mom had many close friends and neighbors in Kingsport and maintained lifelong friendships with her girlfriends, who refer to themselves as “the Chix.” They had frequent reunions over the past many years, meeting up in their home towns in the South or at Mom’s here in California. Her friend Penny told me how they were in a club in Jr High called the “Bakers Dozen” and also had a ukulele group, and they were so cool. The Chix gathered for a virtual celebration for Mom’s 75th birthday in recent months as, unfortunately, none of them were able to travel in person for this celebration.

Mom attended college close to home at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, where she gained her fanaticism for the TN football program and learned how to identify the flowering plant species in the nearby Smokey Mountains. Following in her father’s footsteps, Mom pursued science and earned a degree in biology, which led her to a successful and rewarding career in biotechnology.

She held various positions in Quality Assurance, Manufacturing and Compliance for five different Pharma/Biotech companies. She cherished her mentor and friend, John Cherry, with whom she worked with for many years. Here he is pictured holding my brother Steve as a baby. Early in her career, direct experience seeing the outcomes of poor manufacturing practices led her to pursue quality control and compliance for the pharma industry. For the duration of her career, Mom made significant contributions to the regulatory processes to ensure the safe and effective development and manufacturing of numerous pharma drugs.

After college, she was briefly married to Eugene White whom she met in school. In the early 70’s, she was offered job transfer to Berkeley, CA. She excitedly told her then-husband who proclaimed he could never leave the south. She told her mother she was moving to California and leaving her husband behind.

After Mom relocated to the Bay Area, she met my met my father Peter Vasilevsky, while they were living in the same apartment building in Emeryville. Mom was impressed by my Dad’s bridge skills, and they married in 1976; buying a house in Moraga, where we were raised

Mom stayed home with us for a few years, where she enjoyed watching Phil Donahue when she wasn’t cleaning up our messes. Thanks mom! 🙂 She re-entered the workforce when we started school.

When I was in kindergarten, she brought Petri dishes to my classroom. She demonstrated how to culture various materials to determine if bacteria were present on each item, such as our hair, or our pencils. You know, typical kindergarten stuff.

My grandma was super creative and when we went to visit them in Tennessee as kids, she had beds set up for us and made homemade headboards for each of us. Mom thinks I inherited my love for purple from her, as purple was also her favorite color (I am actually now a biologist and I study gene and phenotype relationships and to my knowledge, there is no purple gene!).

Mom raised us kids in the most loving and happy household and we had a whole host of pets. Mom had two Siamese cats when she married Dad, Julius and Tyger; Tyger was named after her favorite William Blake poem. Over the years, we welcomed more cats into our family, we had a fish tank full of fish, all which had proper names, we had two dogs, and some assorted reptiles and rodents.

We got our first dog Wesley when I was in elementary school. When I was 12 years old, we did a big trip to the east coast, part of which took us to Kingsport for Mom’s [25?] year high school reunion. Her childhood best friend Teresa had brought up a litter of pomeranian puppies that she was hoping to rehome. Mom and us kids fell in love with the tiny irresistible things and brought one home to California with us, without checking in with my dad.

Mom loved fashion and loved to dress up, and she loved matching outfits. She liked to style my hair and put on makeup like I was her little doll and she taught me how to put on makeup. We wore Christmas sweaters before it was ironic. She hated to get her hair wet.

Mom loved music, although we don’t always necessarily agree on the music choices. Mom took me to my first concert in the 80’s to see the pop star Tiffany, she took my best friend Samarah and I to see NKOTB. I insisted she wear one of my shirts.

Being an ever generous mother, Mom took my brothers and I to see our favorite band in 1989, METALLICA! Yup, we saw Metallica at the Cow Palace in San Francisco! While I think it was the best ever experience for Mike, Steve and I, I can say with assurance that it was one of her least favorite experiences. She would really do anything for us. She was always so generous but she never reminded us of that.

Cooking and dining were passions of Margie’s, which she did not acquire from her mother, who Mom described as someone who did not like to eat and whose spaghetti recipe consisted of Campbell’s tomato soup mixed into overcooked, limp pasta. Although, not sure what’s going on here, placing a roast into the microwave…..

Mom loved to host parties and we had a lot of super bowl parties, holiday dinners and parties with our friends at our house over the years. Our friends were always super welcomed and I think we all share a lot of great memories being at our house growing up. CCD!

Mom and Dad played a lot bridge with our family friends Cyn and Ed. Mom always wanted to teach us how to play but none of us kids ever learned how. I loved to sit at the table with the four of them even though I wasn’t playing. I’d deal out the next round of hands while they all played, and I’d arrange their cards by suit and in sequential order. Mom and Cyn were fortunate to be able to still get together in recent years in Rossmoor and continue to play.

Our family spend a lot of time in Lake Tahoe when we were growing up. We’d bring the dogs, our friends, and cars full of stuff. Mom enjoyed spending time at the cabin and cooking or shopping in town. Tahoe was always a special place for our family.

Mom and Pete began their in 1996. Mom and Pete had worked together for years and when she told me they were becoming involved, I had remembered meeting him as her coworker years before. Mom used to take me to work with her when I was sick, and she would introduce me to her coworkers. I remember walking into Pete’s office and he had some handwritten notes on his desk and I was struck by how unusual his handwriting was. When Mom told me they had become involved, I said, I remember him because of his handwriting!

Mom and Pete married in Big Sur in 1998 and moved to Danville, which will always remain a special place to them, hence we’ll be continuing our celebration there this afternoon.

I was thrilled for Mom and Pete to begin their relationship and their lifelong love for each other. When Pete joined our family, we also gained two step-brothers, Nate and Chad, and we’ve all had a myriad of adventures together. Coincidentally, we are all close together in age, which has facilitated our friendships.

Mom loved to play the favorites game – she would ask what is your favorite this, what is your favorite that. For the record, Mom’s favorite food was Crystal burgers, her favorite animal was a cat, her favorite kid was ….

She loved us all equally.

Mom and Pete loved to travel and we were fortunate to do a lot of travels as a family as well. Some highlights were a cruise to Alaska in 2004 with Mom and Pete, my brothers Mike and Nate and my now-husband Aran. The trip ended up unexpectedly being one of my favorite vacations we had ever been on. The trip was full of bingo, karaoke, befriending the staff, etc… Oh yeah, and we did some sightseeing, too.

In 2005, Pete had a career opportunity in San Diego, so they relocated down there. They were apprehensive about selling their house in Danville, so my brothers Mike, Steve and Chad moved into their Danville house.

Growing up in Tennessee, Mom always enjoyed being on boats with her father and brothers and longed to own a boat one day herself. In the early aughts, Mom brought up the possibility of buying a boat with Pete. Pete was open to the idea and before they knew it….

…they owned a boat. They had a lot of great adventures there and conveniently Mom’s brother Bob relocated from Texas to San Diego. This was quite unexpected, as Bob had been living in Texas for decades and was a devoted “Texas is the best place to live” resident. This worked out great for Mom though, as Bob was her best friend, and he was also a certified boat captain and was able to take them out for cruises around the San Diego bay.

Once, Aran and I were visiting, and Mom and Pete had gone to bed. Aran, Bob and I were chatting in the living room and Bob suggested we go to Mexico for breakfast in the morning, which seemed feasible, since we were on the border.

But no, Bob was proposing that we start up the boat in the middle of the night, and head for Mexico, in time for breakfast the next morning. Luckily, we talked him out of it. I couldn’t imagine Mom and Pete’s surprise if they woke up unexpectedly in Mexico!

[Meanwhile, back in Danville…]

Shortly after their relocation, Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They had owned a house in a nearby suburb but Mom came to the realization she couldn’t properly heal in the house and needed the peace and relaxation of the water, so they sold their house and moved onto their boat, where they ended up staying for ~ 5 years.

Becoming a bit cramped on the boat and with their boys and friends in the Bay and northern California, Mom and Pete moved back to the Bay Area 10 years ago, taking up residence in the Rossmoor retirement community.

Here Mom joined a tap club, where she performed with her group at local venues around town.

She has the pleasure of becoming a grandmother to my step-brother Chad’s three girls, who lovingly called her Mimi and Pete, Papa.

In 2015, Mom lost her brother, Bob and never really healed from that loss. Over recent years, she dealt with 2nd and 3rd cases of breast cancer and struggled with a Parkinson’s diagnosis. In spite of all of this, she remained eternally optimistic and positive and never lost her perseverance to fight.

I’ve been speaking to my uncle Jim during this difficult time, and he expressed his regrets that Mom had to experience all of these serious health issues over these past decade. He also told how me how very grateful he is to Pete for all he did to take care of her. He regrets that he couldn’t be here to celebrate Mom today.

I am eternally grateful to Pete, who was by her side for every up and down, and took care of her and would take her out about town no matter how bad her symptoms got. Pete mentioned how Mom never complained, in spite of all she went through. For the record, Pete never complained either. He was tirelessly by her side and to him, I am forever grateful.

Mom, we will be missing you and loving you forever. We will take care of each other.

Margie said: “When i was three years old, while sitting on his lap, my grandfather, Norman MacNaughton, told me that he was going on a very long trip and wouldnt be back, knowing that he was dying of lung cancer (never having smoked).” Well, Margie has now taken her trip, and we should rejoice that she is free of pain, free of worries, and at peace in a better place.

I hope you and Bobby are together now

on a trip to Mexico to get your breakfast tacos.

Go Vols!